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Articles Home » 01. Member/Group Info » SWINGER ETIQUETTE
You’d be forgiven in thinking that it’s “anything goes” here in the swinging lifestyle because in may ways that’s true, however, there are some very big no-no’s that you should be aware of. The basic rule is to treat others as you want to be treated and treat other people’s partners as you would like them to treat yours… That should be written on a rock tablet somewhere!

“No” means “No” or sometimes it’s a politer way of saying “HELL NO, I REALLY DON’T WANT TO!” If you proposition someone or their partner and they say “no” or “no thanks”, they shouldn’t have to justify or explain themselves. That’s your cue to wish them a nice evening and walk away. No one likes a pushy or overly persistent person, that behaviour is NOT COOL.

Respect ALL boundaries! First of all you should always find out what they are and then make sure you play within them. There is no and, if’s or but’s on this one, and no butt’s either. Boundaries are where a person’s comfort zone stops or where their relationship agreements stop. If you want to be invited to play again or even to get a bit further next time, always play within their boundaries. Just as you would want someone to respect and not try to push you outside your boundaries, don’t do it to others no matter how silly you think their boundary is. Playing within the boundaries is how you build up trust which his huge in the swinging lifestyle.

Always get permission before doing something to someone or his or her partner. You may have had a talk about boundaries but people can feel like things and not feel like things in the moment, so it’s good etiquette to just check “is it ok if I bend your partner over and use this 10” strap on?” He or she may have used it every day for a month and not be in the mood for it that night. It happens…

Don’t tell other people the real identities of your playmates. While you may be open and honest with everyone about everything in your life, not everyone is so have respect for other people’s privacy. Some people’s lives would be turned upside down if their swinging secret got out, and not in a good way.

Don’t kiss and tell! It’s all well and good to tell people you had a great play date with a person or couple, but it’s not good manners to share whom it was or give them a performance critique. Don’t chat about how good or bad someone was; their fetishes or quirky habits, how loud they were, how crooked their penis was, how small their breasts were, how quick they came, or how long it took them to get up, how wet or dry she was, and she came how many times…? We’re not all porn star performers and we all have good nights, and some bad. Either way, someone else doesn’t need to know the details.

Hygiene! Please always prepare for playtime by showering, washing all your bits and being as clean and as fresh as possible. There is nothing worse than playing with someone who smells like they haven’t showered in a week or kissing someone with bad breath. Ewwww! Showers and mouthwash just before the swinging event at the very least people. Don’t make me punish you for bad odour!

Take your own safe sex protection, lube and toys (this goes for alcohol and drugs if you into those things). This is not a written rule, nor a universal one as some people don’t mind sharing but don’t assume this is the case. Always bring your own, especially if you’re a larger or smaller man than the average (I’m specifically addressing penis size here) because most people/clubs provide the standard size condoms if any at all. If playing safe is important to you, bring your own! That way you’ll never have to make the decision to play or not to play unprotected.

Don’t share pictures of your playmates online or off. First of all you should always ask them before you take the photos and ask if they are ok with you sharing them or posting. They’ll tell you what they’re ok with but if nothing is said, assume you cannot share anything which has any identifying features in the shot; faces, tattoo’s birthmarks etc. If you put pictures up on your online swingers profile, other places on the internet or email them to people, make sure that you take out all faces and distinguishing features before posting. Chances are, if they are happy to be in the pictures to start with, they aren’t too concerned and likely would be ok as long as you can’t see them in it.

Be Punctual! If you’ve arranged a meet and greet, or a play date, turn up at the specified time. This isn’t a swinger specific rule; it’s a general rule in manners and respect. By now you have a contact number to call, so call it and let them know if you’re going to be late as soon as you know you are going to be and by how long approximately. If you are notoriously late, aim to be there early and you may get there on time.

Don’t give out other peoples contact details! This includes chat program handles, email addresses or phone numbers without their permission. Commonsense you’d think, but it seems not for all. Let them give those details out on their own or ask them first before you pass them on.

Include both partners. This means when you are connecting with another couple as a couple or as a single, respect the relationship above all else. You need to gain the approval of the other partner for you to engage with theirs so make sure you are communicating with them and connect to gain their permission to enjoy time with their partner. If the partner doesn’t like you or says no, the person you want to play with becomes a no go zone. And even if you do all the right things, some people just won’t like you so let it go and move on. It’s bad etiquette to keep trying.

At the end of the day, if you’re not sure what’s ok, just ask the other people involved what they’re comfortable with and you’ll soon find out where the boundaries are and if you stay within them, you’ll continue to keep a good reputation in the swinging lifestyle and people will want to keep playing with you. They may even recommend you to their other swinging friends and that’s what you want!
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08/18/2017 19:03
give me a reason to.... :)

08/14/2017 15:19
breathe harder! LOL

08/03/2017 13:20
I am breathing silently :)

07/29/2017 01:36
oh there's breathing... heavy breathing...

07/18/2017 18:58
nobody breathing in here it seems

07/08/2017 15:33
Hey magahet maipe, sa your picture uploads are getting 'maipe'...

06/07/2017 13:13
The 'Real talk here - how would you handle it?' thread in the 'What's your Story' forum. The question lies therein...

06/06/2017 18:38
Hi So what the question ???

06/06/2017 04:06
There, I answered that big question. So everybody else c'mon, walk the walk and answer too

06/06/2017 03:47
to you know who (3 of you), on here yes you can talk as dirty as you want to me

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